Journal 5

Wait, what time is it? OH SNAP, I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OUT OF HERE AN HOUR AGO! That's all I could remember thinking this morning as I quickly grabbed some eyeliner, my black casual dress, and high heel shoes and ran, well stumbled, outside of my apartment building this morning. Thank goodness that the bus got here right as I got out though, man, I might have a chance of getting to the business proposal on time, but I still don't know, it seems highly unlikely. I can't help but look around at everyone on this bus, envying them for actually being on time, wishing that I could feel the same amount of comfort that they're feeling right now. I mean, yeah I have a pretty good job and I'm sure that I do better than them at the end of the day, but still, I mean, after today, I could be out of this job anyways! Watch, as soon as I get out of here, I'm running, I don't care who's in my way.

The 104 bus just finished opening it's doors, and I was already bolting passed the old lady in the front. Screw manners, I'm a determined woman ready to kill to get to this damn meeting. I could only see the blurred images of people as I passed them trying to muscle my way into the train. "Stand clear of the closing doors please!" I hear the conductor yell as soon as I reach the door. Psh, no way is he getting the best of me, I'll beak these doors if I have to. 

After about a minute of struggling with the door, accompanied with the 'nice' comments from other people on the train, I finally got in. Dare I look at the time? 9:02 AM, which I guess isn't bad, I mean, I'm not too late, but I'm late, which still could do some damage to my chances at keeping this job. Oh well, I guess I'll just sit and wait...

Journal 6

"Hey honey, what's for dinner tonight, I'm startinggggg!!" Anna exclaimed, while twiddling her fingers and staring blankly at the shaggy green carpet beneath her feet.

" Umm, I don't know babe, I was thinking maybe we could get a salad from the deli or something..." Jim said, while glancing at her extra extra large shirt balled up next to the couch. "I think that a change would be nice, we're always eating so unhealthy, ya know?"

The television blasted the loud jingle of the famous Big Mac sandwich from McDonald's in the background, creating the allure of the greasy, fattening burger, causing Anna's mouth to water.

"How's about we get one of them?" Anna says with an excited smirk on her face while grabbing and shaking her husband.

"Umm, I'm not so sure" He says. "I think that we should try a salad, I heard that the new caesar dressing is delicious!"

"No! I want one of those, the patties look so yummy, and there's two of em!" She exclaims.

"I don't have enough money and it's way too far anyways, we'd have to take a cab and all that. No can do babe" He said while looking slightly toward the left side of her face, focusing his attention on the roll of fat where her dimples used to show.

"I got money!" She yells. "I'll pay!"

"No no, it's fine, I'm not hungry anyways, could you please just wait with me and maybe well go later?" He said with a sad undertone. "While we wait, let's do some sit ups, they're great fun!"

Reaction Paper 2 and 3

The topic of war is easily a more popular topic that both local, and well taut writers base short stories upon. Though many stories have been written, only few have been able to effectively portray the theme of the effects of war on the human mind throughout a story. An example of the successful and failed attempts are shown within the short stories An Episode of War, by Stephen Crane, and War, by Jason Austin, because though both authors use certain methods to display the theme, one author was more effective than the other
    Though both stories contain one character that the whole story revolves upon, one of the stories actually demonstrates the impact the war has had on him, while the other story failed to do so. In Stephen Crane’s short story, the protagonist, who is not given a name, clearly shows an overwhelming physiological breakdown while attempting to get help for the wound on his arm and when he finally returns home from combat, only to be seen as a completely different man. In the story by Jason Austin, the theme is not nearly as effectively portrayed as it was in the last story. Instead of describing character emotion, both through description and dialogue, the author chooses to solely tell the reader what action is occurring, and what the character is going through, making a valid connection between the reader and character virtually impossible, rendering them clueless to any change or effect that the war brought upon the character.
    As opposed to Austin, Crane was very effective in describing his protagonist, and his supporting characters, though they were not assigned a major role, to further intensify the feeling of emotional distress the reader experiences from the situation. He portrays the protagonist’s feelings particularly well when describing his facial expression during the examination of his wound, “He wore the look of one who knows he is the victim of a terrible disease and understands his helplessness.” (Crane, page 1) With a visual image put into the head of the reader, accompanied with an intensely described feeling of sorrow and pain, it is easy to relate with the pain of the character and see exactly what the war has done to him. Meanwhile, Austin wasn’t as creative with his approach, mainly focusing on solely on the action that the character was in, disregarding his feeling about what was occurring. Though both stories mentioned family and the effect that they had on the characters at war, the use of dialogue made the connection between the effect of the war and their family stronger, “When he reached home, his sisters, his mother, his wife sobbed for a long time at the sight of the flat sleeve. ‘Oh, well,’ he said, standing shamefaced amid these tears, ’don't suppose it matters so much as all that.’ “ showing the traumatic effect, not only on the main character, but on his family as well.
    Though both stories are different in their levels of applying its theme, nevertheless, each story contributed its own feeling and attitude. An Episode of War produced a more dramatic mood by describing the fear within the lieutenant’s men, and the dull, lifeless attitude of the lieutenant himself, while in War, though the character doesn’t express much feeling, there is still a feeling of intense, life threatening combat, mainly shown during the protagonist’s close call with the musket, and his eventual death or capture during his experience with a roadside bomb. Though both stories captured a strong feeling, the feeling within An Episode of War was more on point with supporting the theme.
    In conclusion, though the topic of war is an alluring subject for many short story writers, some writers are simply better at displaying a theme better than others. With the stories, An Episode of War, and War, there is a clear difference in which some writers are able to put forth a theme when describing a certain event. The writing style and themes may seem unconnected, but are actually intertwined within every story, no matter what them a writer is writing for.

Sudden Fiction Final Draft

All of a sudden I hear a muffled ring coming from my bottom right pocket right above my thigh, I hope it’s her. I unzip the leather zipper and quickly grab and flip up my phone to see who’s calling, and as I do so all I could hear is the screaming of a middle aged woman running toward her house, screaming something along the lines of, “he’s back!”. He’s back? What could that possibly mean?

            I look at the caller ID on my cell to see that it isn’t Tifa calling me at all; it’s actually Rufus, the son of the Shinra Corps boss and the organizer of our SOLDIER group. I don’t know what this could be about, he only calls when there’s a dire emergency. I hope nothing happened to her. As soon as I accept the call he starts screaming, ordering me to get to the Mt. Nibel Reactor as soon as possible because what we feared most was actually happening, Sephiroth was back.

            As soon as I run to by bike through the wet, grassy surface, I began to realize that my worst nightmare was coming together. Tifa and Sephiroth were going to face off at the reactor, a face off which Tifa most likely wouldn’t survive. I went from jogging to sprinting past the local material and weapons shop to the Shinra employee parking lot. Before I realized what was going on, I was already past the small suburbs of Nibelhiem and deep into Nibel Forest, about to hit the fork in the road leading to the reactor. I could see the smoke from the reactor through the leafless branches indicating that I was close to my destination. I could feel my heart jumping out of my chest, as I unsheathed my sword from its holster I knew that I was in for the fight of my life, but I knew that it was going to be worth it in the end because I’m doing this to save the love of my life.

            I’m here and not a moment too soon, I already see all of the Shinra elite’s bikes are long gone, except for one, the bike belonging to Zack. My heart is racing faster and faster with every step I take, so fast that I could almost feel the blood moving throughout my body, sending shivers down my spine. I push open the large worn metal doors only to see the doom and destruction that I had so painfully been expecting. My sword drops as I could feel my heart sink when I see her unconscious body draped along the cold dark ground, like some sort of rag doll. I can’t feel or hear anything anymore; I can’t think straight, nothing. I can’t even control myself, I just look down at her body while my body moves itself closer to hers, eventually picking her up and putting her unresponsive body down by the steps. All the while I could just hear myself muttering the phrase, “it’s going to be okay”. I know what I have to do now, I have to kill that sick bastard for what he did to Tifa, this isn’t for my job, my life, or the world, it’s just for her.

            I could feel myself swiftly running up the stairs to the main room of the reactor when I suddenly feel something grab onto my foot as im running.

            “Cloud, don’t do it.” the unknown figure says in a frail voice. As soon as I heard the deepness of the voice of the figure below, I automatically knew the person who owned that voice, it was none other than Zack Fair.

            “Don’t go, you’ll be killed, don’t be foolish” he whispers while coughing up blood.

            “Don’t stop me; I know what I have to do.” I tell him. “I’m not turning back, he hurt my girl and now he’s gonna pay.”

            “Don’t do it man, you’ll die for sure, that man is high off the craving for domination and he can’t be stopped.” he says before dropping his head back to the ground.

            “I know what could happen but I don’t care, im going to avenge her no matter what.” I tell him before escaping his grasp while continuing to run up stairs.

            I could see him now, his long, disgusting silver hair flowing with the rough winds caused by the reactor’s winds. Before I knew it I was running toward him at full speed with my blade ahead of me, with intent to kill. I had him, it was over, I could feel my sword pierce his robe, entering his side and exiting through the other side of his body, cracking the wall in front of him. I could still feel the adrenaline rushing from my head to my toes as I pulled the sword out of his body. I could see him stumble towards the ground and before I could get a hold of myself I could see the ground moving and my sword being swung once again, except this time I didn’t strike, it was he who struck me. I didn’t know what to expect now, he had knocked my sword off of the ledge and now I was weaponless and struck by a plague of fear.

            As I closed my eyes I could feel his long blade go through the center of my stomach and lift me off of the ground. Though I had just been stabbed and mortally wounded, I still couldn’t feel pain. My hands wrapped around his blade, shocking both him and myself, and before I knew what was happening, I could see that he was now in the air and I was now standing, meanwhile the sword was still in my torso. He let out a roar as I tossed him off of the ledge into a pool of acid, killing him instantly. 

            It was over now, he was gone and Tifa, and the world was saved. I dropped to the ground, knowing that my ending was inevitable, for the wound in my stomach had basically ripped apart my whole digestive system. Although I was rapidly expiring, I knew that I had done my job, I knew that I was successful in saving the woman of my dreams. I wish that I could tell Tifa that I did this whole mess for her, that I could care less for the welfare of the world, that my main motive was to protect her, the love of my life. Too bad the last thing I’d hear before my death was the ring tone from an incoming call from none other than the boss’s son

Sudden Fiction Second Draft

Some dream job this turned out to be, I’ve been a first class SOLDIER for about three months now and it’s definitely not all it was cracked up to be. I mean, yeah I get to don the purple and black uniform and carry the oversized buster sword but other than that there’s nothing, nothing at all. For the first two months I’ve been stuck guarding the main lobby of the Shinra building just above the slums of Sector 47 in Midgar, which is nothing like the majestic depictions of SOLDIER that’s shown between basically every television program that we have down at Sector 7. This month I was “promoted” to chief guard of suspicious activities down at Nibelhiem, which isn’t too bad considering that Tifa still resides there.

            Hmm, speaking about that, Tifa was supposed to call me after she was done giving Zack and the rest of the Shinra elite the all access tour of the Mount Nibel Mako Reactor, a tour that I specifically told her not to take because of its high risk for terrorist attacks, especially after Sephiroth’s psychotic rant last week. See, its things like this that drive me crazy about that girl, she’s as bold as anything, she never listens to a word anyone tells her. If I’d lose her I don’t know what I’d do, she’s been my love for so long and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I just hope she calls soon.

            All of a sudden I hear a muffled ring coming from my bottom right pocket right above my thigh, I hope it’s her. I unzip the leather zipper a quickly grab and flip up my phone to see who’s calling, and as I do so all I could hear is the screaming of a middle aged woman running toward her house, screaming something along the lines of, “he’s back!”. He’s back? What could that possibly mean?

            I look at the caller ID on my cell to see that it isn’t Tifa calling me at all; it’s actually Rufus, the son of the Shinra Corps boss and the organizer of our SOLDIER group. I don’t know what this could be about, he only calls when there’s a dire emergency. I hope nothing happened to her. As soon as I accept the call he starts screaming, ordering me to get to the Mt. Nibel Reactor as soon as possible because what we feared most was actually happening, Sephiroth was back.

            As soon as I run to by bike through the wet, grassy surface, I began to realize that my worst nightmare was coming together. Tifa and Sephiroth were going to face off at the reactor, a face off which Tifa most likely wouldn’t survive. I went from jogging to sprinting past the local material and weapons shop to the Shinra employee parking lot. Before I realized what was going on, I was already past the small suburbs of Nibelhiem and deep into Nibel Forest, about to hit the fork in the road leading to the reactor. I could see the smoke from the reactor through the leafless branches indicating that I was close to my destination. I could feel my heart jumping out of my chest, as I unsheathed my sword from its holster I knew that I was in for the fight of my life, but I knew that it was going to be worth it in the end because I’m doing this to save the love of my life.

            I’m here and not a moment too soon, I already see all of the Shinra elite’s bikes are long gone, except for one, the bike belonging to Zack. My heart is racing faster and faster with every step I take, so fast that I could almost feel the blood moving throughout my body, sending shivers down my spine. I push open the large worn metal doors only to see the doom and destruction that I had so painfully been expecting. My sword drops as I could feel my heart sink when I see her unconscious body draped along the cold dark ground, like some sort of rag doll. I can’t feel or hear anything anymore; I can’t think straight, nothing. I can’t even control myself, I just look down at her body while my body moves itself closer to hers, eventually picking her up and putting her unresponsive body down by the steps. All the while I could just hear myself muttering the phrase, “it’s going to be okay”. I know what I have to do now, I have to kill that sick bastard for what he did to Tifa, this isn’t for my job, my life, or the world, it’s just for her.

            I could feel myself swiftly running up the stairs to the main room of the reactor when I suddenly feel something grab onto my foot as im running.

            “Cloud, don’t do it.” the unknown figure says in a frail voice. As soon as I heard the deepness of the voice of the figure below, I automatically knew the person who owned that voice, it was none other than Zack Fair.

            “Don’t go, you’ll be killed, don’t be foolish” he whispers while coughing up blood.

            “Don’t stop me; I know what I have to do.” I tell him. “I’m not turning back, he hurt my girl and now he’s gonna pay.”

            “Don’t do it man, you’ll die for sure, that man is high off the craving for domination and he can’t be stopped.” he says before dropping his head back to the ground.

            “I know what could happen but I don’t care, im going to avenge her no matter what.” I tell him before escaping his grasp while continuing to run up stairs.

            I could see him now, his long, disgusting silver hair flowing with the rough winds caused by the reactor’s winds. Before I knew it I was running toward him at full speed with my blade ahead of me, with intent to kill. I had him, it was over, I could feel my sword pierce his robe, entering his side and exiting through the other side of his body, cracking the wall in front of him. I could still feel the adrenaline rushing from my head to my toes as I pulled the sword out of his body. I could see him stumble towards the ground and before I could get a hold of myself I could see the ground moving and my sword being swung once again, except this time I didn’t strike, it was he who struck me. I didn’t know what to expect now, he had knocked my sword off of the ledge and now I was weaponless and struck by a plague of fear.

            As I closed my eyes I could feel his long blade go through the center of my stomach and lift me off of the ground. Though I had just been stabbed and mortally wounded, I still couldn’t feel pain. My hands wrapped around his blade, shocking both him and myself, and before I knew what was happening, I could see that he was now in the air and I was now standing, meanwhile the sword was still in my torso. He let out a roar as I tossed him off of the ledge into a pool of acid, killing him instantly. 

            It was over now, he was gone and Tifa, and the world was saved. I dropped to the ground, knowing that my ending was inevitable, for the wound in my stomach had basically ripped apart my whole digestive system. Although I was rapidly expiring, I knew that I had done my job, I knew that I was successful in saving the woman of my dreams. I wish that I could tell Tifa that I did this whole mess for her, that I could care less for the welfare of the world, that my main motive was to protect her, the love of my life. Too bad the last thing I’d hear before my death was the ring tone from an incoming call from none other than the boss’s son

Sudden Fiction First Draft

Do you know the probability of an ordinary individual suddenly becoming a hero on any given day? Well according to research, it’s about one in every three hundred million people, meaning said person has to be pretty lucky if they’re the “chosen one”, right? Wrong, in fact becoming a hero could be the most unfortunate event during a person’s entire lifetime, that is, if they survive at all. This is the story of twenty one year old Cloud Strife.

            Some dream job this turned out to be, I’ve been a first class SOLDIER for about three months now and it’s definitely not all it was cracked up to be. I mean, yeah I get to don the purple and black uniform and carry the oversized buster sword but other than that there’s nothing, nothing at all. For the first two months I’ve been stuck guarding the main lobby of the Shinra building just above the slums of Sector 47 in Midgar, which is nothing like the majestic depictions of SOLDIER that’s shown between basically every television program that we have down at Sector 7. This month I was “promoted” to chief guard of suspicious activities down at Nibelhiem, which isn’t too bad considering that Tifa still resides there.

            Hmm, speaking about that, Tifa was supposed to call me after she was done giving Zack and the rest of the Shinra elite the all access tour of the Mount Nibel Mako Reactor, a tour that I specifically told her not to take because of its high risk for terrorist attacks, especially after Sephiroth’s psychotic rant last week. See, its things like this that drive me crazy about that girl, she’s as bold as anything, she never listens to a word anyone tells her. If I’d lose her I don’t know what I’d do, she’s been my love for so long and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. I just hope she calls soon.

            All of a sudden I hear a muffled ring coming from my bottom right pocket right above my thigh, I hope it’s her. I unzip the leather zipper a quickly grab and flip up my phone to see who’s calling, and as I do so all I could hear is the screaming of a middle aged woman running toward her house, screaming something along the lines of, “he’s back!”. He’s back? What could that possibly mean?

            I look at the caller ID on my cell to see that it isn’t Tifa calling me at all; it’s actually Rufus, the son of the Shinra Corps boss and the organizer of our SOLDIER group. I don’t know what this could be about, he only calls when there’s a dire emergency. I hope nothing happened to her. As soon as I accept the call he starts screaming, ordering me to get to the Mt. Nibel Reactor as soon as possible because what we feared most was actually happening, Sephiroth was back.

            As soon as I run to by bike through the wet, grassy surface, I began to realize that my worst nightmare was coming together. Tifa and Sephiroth were going to face off at the reactor, a face off which Tifa most likely wouldn’t survive. I went from jogging to sprinting past the local material and weapons shop to the Shinra employee parking lot. Before I realized what was going on, I was already past the small suburbs of Nibelhiem and deep into Nibel Forest, about to hit the fork in the road leading to the reactor. I could see the smoke from the reactor through the leafless branches indicating that I was close to my destination. I could feel my heart jumping out of my chest, as I unsheathed my sword from its holster I knew that I was in for the fight of my life, but I knew that it was going to be worth it in the end because I’m doing this to save the love of my life.

            I’m here and not a moment too soon, I already see all of the Shinra elite’s bikes are long gone, except for one, the bike belonging to Zack. My heart is racing faster and faster with every step I take, so fast that I could almost feel the blood moving through out my body, sending shivers down my spine. I push open the large worn metal doors only to see the doom and destruction that I had so painfully been expecting. My sword drops as I could feel my heart sink when I see her unconscious body draped along the cold dark ground, like some sort of rag doll. I can’t feel or hear anything anymore; I can’t think straight, nothing. I can’t even control myself, I just look down at her body while my body moves itself closer to hers, eventually picking her up and putting her unresponsive body down by the steps. All the while I could just hear my self muttering the phrase, “it’s going to be okay”. I know what I have to do now, I have to kill that sick bastard for what he did to Tifa, this isn’t for my job, my life, or the world, it’s just for her.

            I could feel myself swiftly running up the stairs to the main room of the reactor when I suddenly feel something grab onto my foot as im running.

            “Cloud, don’t do it.” the unknown figure says in a frail voice. As soon as I heard the deepness of the voice of the figure below, I automatically knew the person who owned that voice, it was none other than Zack Fair.

            “Don’t go, you’ll be killed, don’t be foolish” he whispers while coughing up blood.

            “Don’t stop me; I know what I have to do.” I tell him. “I’m not turning back, he hurt my girl and now he’s gonna pay.”

            “Don’t do it man, you’ll die for sure, that man is high off the craving for domination and he can’t be stopped.” he says before dropping his head back to the ground.

            “I know what could happen but I don’t care, im going to avenge her no matter what.” I tell him before escaping his grasp while continuing to run up stairs.

            I could see him now, his long, disgusting silver hair flowing with the rough winds caused by the reactor’s winds. Before I knew it I was running toward him at full speed with my blade ahead of me, with intent to kill. I had him, it was over, I could feel my sword pierce his robe, entering his side and exiting through the other side of his body, cracking the wall in front of him. I could still feel the adrenaline rushing from my head to my toes as I pulled the sword out of his body. I could see him stumble towards the ground and before I could get a hold of myself I could see the ground moving and my sword being swung once again, except this time I didn’t strike, it was he who struck me. I didn’t know what to expect now, he had knocked my sword off of the ledge and now I was weaponless and struck by a plague of fear.

            As I closed my eyes I could feel his long blade go through the center of my stomach and lift me off of the ground. Though I had just been stabbed and mortally wounded, I still couldn’t feel pain. My hands wrapped around his blade, shocking both him and myself, and before I knew what was happening, I could see that he was now in the air and I was now standing, meanwhile the sword was still in my torso. He let out a roar as I tossed him off of the ledge into a pool of acid, killing him instantly.

            It was over now, he was gone and Tifa, and the world was saved. I dropped to the ground, knowing that my ending was inevitable, for the wound in my stomach had basically ripped apart my whole digestive system. Although I was rapidly expiring, I knew that I had done my job, I knew that I was successful in saving the woman of my dreams. I wish that I could tell Tifa that I did this whole mess for her, that I could care less for the welfare of the world, that my main motive was to protect her, the love of my life. Too bad the last thing I’d hear before my death was the ring tone from an incoming call from none other then the boss’s son

Reflection

Kevin Walsh

 

My senior year so far could be categorized as a great failure, for two simple reasons. My year could be considered great, because though I haven’t done particularly well, I’ve learned a lot of what to and not to do on a college campus to allow me to prosper and gain the knowledge needed for each class, while being considered a failure because I didn’t work as hard as I should have and I let my personal life get in the way of my studies, making my grades suffer. My goals this semester were to get at least an 88 in every class, including my high school classes, to get a better shot at getting into Hunter College next year. Though at first I felt that I was going to be able to confidently give 100% effort and finally shine like I could have, I faced many unforeseen adversities, causing my to have periods of moping and questioning myself, taking my focus away from my work, causing a significant drop in my grade. I don’t know what has worked so far because I haven’t done well at all, making not only myself, but everyone around me disappointed, but what hasn’t worked is focusing on my personal problems and making that my priority.

I could see myself most likely going to either a lesser known four-year CUNY, or a community college, but working my way back into the Hunter College campus. I don’t know if I pt myself in too deep of a hole this semester to work my way out of it come spring, but I am extremely determined to get into this school, so no matter what come in my way, I will end up going to Hunter. I plan on achieving this goal by studying hard, finding time for myself, and distancing my studies from my personal life, because as Ms. DeFeo said, “You can’t change your social life, but you are the only one who could change your grades.”

This year, I think that I’ve become a better writer, mainly because of the techniques I’ve learned this year that have really allowed me to improve my fiction writing skills. I still need to work on subtext and leaving out unnecessary details from my stories. I think that significant detail, dialogue, and imagery are techniques that have been easy for me, but techniques such as prose rhythm have been hard for me to utilize in my story. I plan on working on the skills that I’ve had trouble with incorporating in my stories could be improved by getting personal help from my teachers and utilizing the help from the writing center here at the college.

I really have enjoyed writing my sudden fiction piece because I’ve always enjoyed creative writing I haven’t exactly found the reason why, but I’ve always enjoyed letting my imagination loose and connecting to my characters. To be a successful writer, I need to be able to take as much pride in my essay and general writing pieces, such as reaction papers, to be a better, more well rounded writer.

By the end of the year, I hope to be a full fledged fiction writer. I believe that I have the tools and imagination to write great works of fiction, but I need to work on mastering the necessary tools and techniques to become the best writer I could be. What I hope to gain from this whole program in general is the tools I need to have in order to succeed in the real world. So far I’ve demonstrated quite clearly that I’m not ready for all the responsibilities that come with being an adult, but hopefully by the end of the year, I’ll have a better sense of how to be an independent person and succeed on my own.

Finally, my portfolio represents me as a person and student because a lot of my work is late and unfinished, making me struggle to finish all of the work by the deadline, something that I’ve had a habit of doing during my whole high school tenure.